Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
