I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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