she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
