i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
