dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
