If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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