Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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