If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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