R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
