i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
