There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
