one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
