so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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