quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
