it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
