And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You may now shotgun with the bride
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
