Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
