that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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