I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Where did you get a picture of my penis
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
