omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
