I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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