just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
