I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
