week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
