I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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