We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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