i just had sex bonerless
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
