I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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