Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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