think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I supernannyed him into submission
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