i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
