I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
