i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
A+ Viking dick
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
