"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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