Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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