just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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