:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
