she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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