he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm just crazy horny about you
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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