lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
