I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
