On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I deserve this hangover.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
