you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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