1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
