Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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