You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Buhtt sex?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
