I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
