I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
