she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
