it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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